Motivation to be healthy

In 2006 my mother 'the Girl from Griffith' died after a sudden illness that turned out to be a rare form of cervical cancer. She was not quite 54.

Her father 'Gramps' died from throat cancer at 67.

Her mother 'Nanna' died of a undetermined cancer at 75.

My paternal grandfather 'Pawpaw' died of a heart attack at the age of 58.

While living to your mid 70's might be a reasonable expectation, any thing less is 'too young' in my opinion. The shock of Mum's sudden death naturally caused me to reflect on my own morality. I'd also seen my Nanna slowly die of a painful wasting disease; She was the last of her friends and siblings, their bodies having been ravaged by a variety of so called 'modern diseases'.

It seemed to me, that unless I made some serious changes, I was on a crash course to join them. At 36, I was rather obese, weighing in at a hefty 117kg [258lb], I smoked over 30 cigarettes a day and had been largely sedentary my entire life.

James - Canberra - January 2006

This photo was taken at the 'wake'. 

At this point, I thought I was just a bit overweight - nothing to worry about. For all the denial, I can't help but notice that I'm puffing my chest and attempting to suck my belly in. Not that it helped though.

It took some time for the shock of mums death to wear off. I was in a numb place for a long time. Despite this, I went ahead with a planned trip to Europe shortly after this photo was taken.

Europe was everything I'd hoped and more. It was a strange period: of exploration; discovery, wonder and excitement; coupled with depression, self loathing; and a serious case of loneliness that kicked in as the shock of mums death started to wear off.

I learnt a lot about myself and didn't like what I learnt. However, I also learnt many positive things about myself and had much on my mind to sort through and process. Ultimately, it was a healthy thing for me. The trip became a catalyst for a range of self improvements, starting with my weight. I reassessed my goals in life and tried to overcome my tendency to avoid contact with people. I still smoked a lot, but I averaged around 20 kilometres a day walking around. I met some interesting travellers and actually had conversations with them. I read some good books. I kept a diary [Which I can't make head or tail of now. haha].

On my return to Melbourne, I'd lost about 17 kg and was in better shape than I'd been since my mid 20's.

James - Amsterdam - April 2006

I took this photo of myself while on a Canal Cruise in Amsterdam. I was recovering from a flu and rather broke! It is hard to tell from this photo, but I'd already lost quite a bit of weight.

James - Berlin - May 2006

Mohrenstrasse is a subway station in East Berlin. It was lined with red marble from Hitlers Office. It looks brown in this photo, but it is actually a pinkish red.

The name says it all... This is an occasional blog

I'm not one of those people who likes to blog about things regularly. I don't feel driven to discuss a specific subject matter. I don't generally feel a need to be heard. However, from time to time I feel a strange compulsion to shout out to the world. I don't particularly care if anyone is following what I say. I'm happy to let my bleating drown in the background noise all the other sheep are making. I cannot promise to be interesting, engaging or consistent. What does this say about me, I wonder?

I'm aware that blogs, like any social network, tell the reader a lot about the author. Not just what is said, but insights into the authors personality. This can be a two edged sword and I am mindful of that. Make of me what you will.

Who am I?  

I'm a middle aged geek, who works in I.T. in the public sector. I was born in inner city  Sydney, NSW. I'm middle aged and I've become health concious, though I struggle with sugar and nicotine addiction. 


Addiction is a strange beast, even after prolonged abstinence, it asserts itself at times of weakness and plays havoc with your life. That said, I cannot tell you how grateful I am that my addictions are limited to 'legal drugs', nor the fact that all my problems are very much 'first world' in nature.


I'm the [legitimised] bastard get of a U.S. Marine and a girl from Griffith, NSW. I grew up all over Sydney, we moved more times than I care to mention. I attended a number of different schools and seem to have inherited my parents penchant for moving house. I hate moving, but I still do it. Moving around and a troubled family coloured my early years. If I'm honest, this probably flavours my personality even now.


I'm one of those people who is attracted to many different things, I come across something new, madly absorb it and move onto the next thing. You could say that I embrace change in a big way! 


That said, I've found that my life needs a certain amount of stability in order to sustain my sanity. I consider this stability to be my "mental core" - if I look after it and keep it strong, I won't lose myself in the shifting sands of change where I like to work and play.